Mom Life, and Surrogacy Stories

When I first started breastfeeding, I thought it would come naturally and instantly feel magical. While there were definitely beautiful moments, there were also moments of frustration, exhaustion, and questioning whether I was doing anything right.

As a mom of four, I’ve learned that every breastfeeding journey looks different, and there is no “perfect” way to feed your baby. If you’re just beginning your breastfeeding journey, here are the things I truly wish someone had told me beforehand.

1. Breastfeeding Can be Hard at First

No one talks enough about how much of a learning curve breastfeeding can be. Both mom and baby are learning together, and it can take time to find a rhythm.


2. Cluster Feeding is Normal and Necessary

There were nights I felt like my baby wanted to nurse constantly. I later learned that cluster feeding is completely normal and often helps build milk supply. It is neccessary to build your supply to stay consistent with baby’s needs or have more than what your baby needs to start a freezer stash. You never know what can happen that interrupts your breastfeeding ability so having a freezer stash is helpful.

3. Hydration Matters More Than you Think

I noticed a huge difference in how I felt and how my milk supply responded when I stayed hydrated throughout the day. I have tried many difference hydration boosting products that assisted with increasing my milk supply.

4. Your Mental Health Matters Too!

Breastfeeding should never come at the expense of your well-being. Fed babies and health moms matter most. When I had my 4th child, I was trying to produce enough milk for my daughter and my nephew (my sister had a hard time producing milk). I was completely overwhelmed when I went back to work and felt like I couldn’t keep my sanity so we ended up weening both babies off of breast milk and transitioned to formula. I felt like a bad mom for not being strong enough to continue breastfeeding. It is OKAY to choose when you are finished with your breastfeeding journey.

5. Every Journey Looks Different

Some moms exclusively nurse, some pump (this was me), and some formula feed. There is no single “right” path through parenthood. My journey with breastfeeding was completely different with each of my pregnancies and even from my sister’s journey. I felt like I had to feed both my baby and my sister’s baby because my sister couldn’t produce enough milk. I was considered an overproducer and had started a stash in the freezer when my sister was literally pumping all day every day and getting nothing. My sister did all of the correct things, and still couldn’t get anything out.

6. A Good Latch Makes a HUGE Difference

One of the biggest things I wish I understood earlier was how important a proper latch is. A shallow latch can cause pain, soreness, and frustration for both mom and baby. Once I learned how to adjust positioning and help my baby latch correctly, feeding became so much more comfortable.

7. Growth Spurts Can Make You Feel Like You’re Doing Something Wrong

There were times my baby suddenly seemed hungry all the time, and I worried my milk supply had dropped. In reality, babies go through growth spurts where they naturally nurse more often to help increase supply. It’s temporary, even though it can feel exhausting in the moment. This is also where a freezer stash might come in handy just in case you are not quite making enough.

8. Taking Care of Yourself Is Part of Taking Care of Your Baby

I used to focus so much on the baby that I completely ignored my own needs. Eating enough, resting when possible, and taking small breaks made a HUGE difference in both my physical recovery and breastfeeding experience.

9. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

I wish I had reached out for support sooner instead of trying to figure everything out alone. Lactation consultants, experienced moms, and supportive friends can make breastfeeding feel far less overwhelming.

10. Breastfeeding Gets Easier With Time

In the beginning, breastfeeding can feel nonstop, emotionally and physically draining. But over time, both you and your baby learn together. What once felt stressful eventually became one of the most natural parts of my daily routine. Don’t get me wrong it is still EXTREMELY exhausting, that part never stops. However it was one of the most rewarding experiences.